The True soul of a monster: part 2

The sea was cold and black just like everything else in her life, dull and cold, she refused to let anything into her life even her sister, she cared for her dearly yes but she could not love her something broke inside her the day her parents died. They had all been so happy and carefree for most of their lives, mother who would do nothing all day besides knit and read books before the fireplace, father who would manage his business from his office at home. Sweet sister and her playing on the rug in the living room while Copper, the stray dog who found its way into the house and their family, lay curled up next to them. Everything was perfect until that winter night, the snow storm was the worst they have ever had, they lived so far away from town that mother and father day to travel by horse to get them supplies to last until the snow would melt. She remembered being curled up in front of the fireplace with her sister shivering with copper in the middle of them sharing his warm golden fur with them. Mother and father had left early that morning but they still had not come back even after hours of waiting, then night fell and the sun rose the next morning, one of the horses that had carried her parents came back that morning and was frightened they could barely get the poor dear back into the barn.

The horse was covered in scars and claw marks that both of the girls knew all too well, it was the marks of the snow wolves that hunted in this part of the lands, the girls had lost their older brother to the wolves two years ago she remembers the grim look on father’s face as he walked back to the house with brothers gun and the scream that came from mother followed by sobs is something that haunted her dreams even now. Their neighbor had come to see then a day or two later, he had mother’s purse slung across the back of his horse’s saddle. That was when she felt it the drift in her soul, the breaking in her chest, she could not cry or scream, or move she just shut down. Her sister sobbed into her hands as Clint handed over the bag to her with a look on his face that told us exactly what we both had already knew.

Clint helped both of them taking on the role of their lost uncle, while sister became a copy of mother always telling her what to do and how and when, with no room for argument. Which did not bother her as much as she thought it would, no her and sister were always close and sister would always tell her what to do any ways.

She was snapped back into her body as the laughing filled her head once more. Oh my sweet darling, do you not like what you see. No one ever does my dear, this is you underneath that pretty face and human flesh you are as much a monster as me. You can not escape me, you cannot run from me.

She realized that the voice in her head was right, she could not run or fight. She was this monster, this horrible disgusting thing that stood before her, was her.  The empty chest, the bloody claws, the hollow eyes, everything, it was all her and the way she chose to live her life. She thought she was going to be sick, how could she be this thing, how could she fall so deep into despair.

Sister, I know that you are scared to let someone near you, but it is okay, because no matter how scared you are to love someone, I will just have to love you twice as hard. You can push me away and fight me tooth and claw, but I will always be here right beside you, I will hold on to you no matter what, you may not be my child by birth but after raising you for so long, you are mine dear sister and I will not let you push me away. 

That was voice the one that she knew far too well filled her head, the voice that was sweet as honeysuckle and soft as a cloud, it was a voice of pure love. Her sister’s voice filled her head and the image of her being pinned down by her sister after they had been fighting about why she refused to love anyone even charming Rayden, who day after day still stood by her side even if he knew how broken she was. Her sister screamed at her to understand that she was loved even if she refused to love anyone else.

She felt it, the hot tears that spilled from her eyes and dripped into the blackness before her. She was this heartless monster but yet they still love her. They both still fought for her, trying to bring her into the light and out of this darkness that surrounded her. Maybe this is how everyone truly saw her and she was just now seeing it herself, but if they could love her even in this disgusting, broken form, then just maybe.

“I am not afraid of you. I know that you are me, just as I am you. I might be terrified of you but I know that you are just as terrified of me. For I am the thing of your nightmares, you refuse to love because you are scared of losing love, therefore you have no heart but I do. You hollow out your eyes so you can only see the black in life, but I see everything, all the colors that make you wither away to your hole of black. Your claws drip with blood from all the fighting you do to keep others away, but I let them in, I crave their touch even if I do not want it, I need to feel their love even if I hate it. That dagger on your tail is your way of dealing with your problems by slicing through them so they can no longer exist. I hold these daggers to defend myself so that no one else may hurt me, I do not slice through my problems I run from them I run from everything that crosses me. I am your nightmare just as you are mine.”

You sweet darling doe are the first to ever except my form. You are the first to stare at your true self and not crumble from the fear and disgust that is truly you. So now I just have one question for you. What will you do now? Will you continue to run from your fears? Will you keep pushing others away? Will you ever learn to love? Will you truly become me? Or, will you fight? Will you try to change your ways and become something more than this, something more than me?

She opened her eyes to see the beast that stood before her once again and stared at that one blue eye, and seen the tears sliding down its face, this beast that she had created did not ask to be made this way. It did not ask to be turned into this demon, it was her fault that she was destroying herself. She walked toward the beast slowly with every shaking step echoing off the walls of the cave. She touched the leather skin that made her stomach flip and roll inside her, she wiped away the tears that slid from the eye so much like her mother’s. 

“I will change for the both of us. I will fix this brokenness that resides in both of us if you just let me have that stone. I. . . I just want to save my sister. . . please she is the only thing I have left in this world.” The beast before her stood tall and straighten so it now towered over her.

My darling you are already changing. You came here to face me. You did not run from your fears. You put the love you feel for your sister before yourself. You tried not to love but yet you have my dear. I will let you take the stone if you keep your promise to change, but not for me but for yourself.

“I promise. . . I promise to try.” The beast raised a claw to wipe away the tears that slid down her face, she tried not to flinch as the touch of the cold metal claw. Then the beast spoke softly into her mind once more as it handed her the stone of life that would save her sister’s life.

You are bound by the bond of promise to change for better, for not only me but for yourself. I look forward to seeing you change and maybe you could stop by again, if the fear does not consume you. If you break your bond to me I will find you and your sister I will take back the life that I so freely gave to you my darling. 

“Yes, I will keep my bond” She took one last look into the eye of her mother and turned to what she assumed was the door of the cave then the two spirit’s that danced before her, leading the way back to home.

I wish you the best on your journey to a life that will make you happy and fill your soul with hope my darling.

She turned to take one last look into the cave but there was nothing there and she could now see the cave in the light as she turned and found the cave entrance to be shimmering in the bright light of the moon. the cave being no deeper than a closest in her home. She would have thought it all a dream if it were not for the purple rock that laid in her hand but there was something else as she looked at her wrist she seen a small black heart, like a tattoo was just place upon her. She rubbed the mark and yet it still remained. Then like a whisper being carried on the wind she felt the slightest tingle in her right ear as the words filled her mind once more

This is our deal and the heart reminds you not to forget. My darling I will be seeing you again. Always watching you. You must remember the deal we have made fore I would hate to take the one thing you love from you, but hear me when I say that I will without hesitation. She sucked the night air into her lungs and ran for their house.

Once she made it to the golden warm glow of the cabin lights she could see copper waiting in the window patiently as if he had never moved from the spot since she left. Just like a mother hen she thought as she slung the door open and fell to her knees on the floor before her sister that was shaking so uncontrollably, she was freezing from the inside but the she was drenched in sweat burning up on the outside.

She pressed the stone to her sister’s heart and spoke softly like her sister always had to her.

“Emily, I am so sorry. I have always pushed you away and pushed away anyone you tired to love. I . . .  I just need you to come back. I love you Emily. . .  I really do love you. So please come back to me. I need you to be here with me.”

She tried to hold back the tears that now flowed down her face and choked back the sobs as she kept waiting for something to happen, anything to happen. She laid her head down on her sisters folded hand and cried into the covers that laid upon Emily. She was giving up, she knew this could not work, this was a stupid idea all along. It was then that the bright purple light filled the cabin as the warm blast waved through her, Copper was there at her side barking demanding whatever threat was there to leave them alone, but as soon as it happened it was gone. The light was sucked away into her sister as she watched the purple glow settle beneath the golden skin of her sister that was just white and pale as a ghost.

She breathing flattened out, the shaking slowly stopped and the sweat that soaked every inch of her skin was gone. She stared down at her sister and Copper was sniffing around Emily as if trying to find that purple light again. Emily’s eyes fluttered open those green eyes flecked with golden spots as they searched the room around her until they landed on her face.

“Elya? What happened? Why are we. . .?

“Emily! I love you. I love you so much Emily. I do. Please do not ever leave me again please!”

She cried into her sister’s arms as the warm soft touch of Emily’s love warped itself around her and held her tightly and kissed the top of her head.

“I always knew you did my little Elya all you had to do was try”

 

 

Well I finished it finally. Sorry I have been away for so long it has been a long couple of months with moving houses and family happening. Just crazy but I am back now and I will try to keep posting one story a day. So keep a lookout for tomorrow’s story!

 

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The true soul of a monster

She had made it to the place where the many others that came before her had stood and lost themselves in the black madness that was practically trying to claw it way out of that gave and into her mind. Come my darling little doe and see for yourself why those who speak my name tremble in fear. She knew that voice would be one of silk but she was not ready for the smooth husky tone that filled her ears like the call of a siren and the scent of lavender and jasmine mixed with the smell of firewood on a snowy night filled her nose. She shuddered at the sound and smell that took over all her other senses. I know why you came my darling. I know what you wish to take from me. Just know that no one has ever walked away from here alive or at least with their minds still intact. 

She scoffed at the arrogance that radiated from within the cave from the voice that spoke not from inside the cave but from inside her head. It did not matter to her she had to do this she had to face this monster that lurked within the cave for the sake of her sister who was lying on the cot at their tiny home fighting off the fever that was so fiercely claiming every part of her body and would soon claim her life, she needed the stone that lay within the cave what could heal anything or bring back loved ones, it was why so many people sought out this cave but none have ever been known to take the stone.

Come now darling doe I grow tired of waiting do you wish to take the stone or not! She would take that stone or die trying no matter what without her sister that one who had raised her all those years after their mother and father had passed away she would do this for her to repay her, for if her sister died she would have no reason to live. She braced her hands on the two daggers that were buckled to both sides of her hips as she slowly pulled them free and gripped the golden hilts so tight her finger turned white. She whispered a small prayer up to the mother above as she stalked into the cave, she was not scared of the death that lurked before her, as it welcomed her with open arms into the black abyss, no, she was most frightened of the afterlife if she were to end up damned for eternity or if she would find that peaceful bliss of nothingness and just be done with everything no longer existing.

Silly little girl you think those tiny blades can hurt me, you must be far more foolish than any other mortal that has come here to try and take the stone yet. 

“I do not care what you think about be demon, I will retrieve that stone and I will leave her with my life and save my sister.”  She snarled into the darkness

There was no light in the cave nor was there darkness it was just black. The color black it’s self is what lie before her and she glided both her blades across the walls until she had to choose left or right. She chose to stick to the left due to the fact that her right were her stronger fighting hand. She felt the presence then of death itself breathing down her neck, she felt the shiver shoot down her back could hear nothing but her beating heart pounding in her ears at the silence. So tell me girl do I frighten you yet. Do you realize you stand before a god were as you are nothing more than a bug waiting to be squashed. 

” You do not scare me. I am my own fear. I am the only person who can decided whether I live or die. Not you.” She tried to sound certain and unafraid but her voice had failed her as she cracked at the end.

She felt the laughter ripple around her as it filled her mind and the air around her like a damn of water had just exploded and was now pouring out to drown out everything in its path. So loud, the noise that filled her ears as the ringing filled her head then the blue light sparked to life. It floated around like a spirit in the night dancing on the wind that carried it. She lost the power to breath as she spotted the claw of black that was inches away from her its talons dripping with blood of a crimson red. The smell of iron and decaying flesh slammed into her noise she could not stop the heaving that started as she emptied the contents of her stomach all over the cave floor. Another blue spirit appeared and she seen the tail that was shaped like a dagger but it was bent at a weird angle like someone had broken it.

The two spirits danced around snaking their way up the beast body that stood a few couple of feet from her. Its fur was in clumps and patches and what wasn’t covered in fur was black and looked to be made like leather covered in scars and cuts. The monster’s chest was something out of a comic book or a nightmare it was a skeleton hollow and empty she could see straight through to the red unskin of the back the blue and purple vessels that did not pulse of beat nothing moved inside this monster. It was like its chest was a cage a prison it kept you in until you slowly died from only the mother knows what. She tried to rip her eyes away from the beast before she could see its head but it was too late. She could not look away it was like she was frozen in fear as the spirits danced high above her head showing her the face of the enemy she would die to tonight.

Its face was half fur and half leather on one side the face had a smile cut and stitched into a smile while the other half bared razor sharp teeth that were just piled in side its mouth like it all just came in at once. One eye held nothing but blackness and death but the other was of sky blue filled with what looked like sadness and regrets. She started into that one eye ignoring the blood that dripped from the black eye and the smile made of shards of razors, and the horns on top the demon’s head that were spiraled and bent at wrong angles, the ears that were missing parts. She started into that eye of sky blue and felt the crushing weight that hit her as she knew the color and the way that eye looked.

That eye was just like the pair her mother had the sky blue color that was as bright and beautiful as the summer sun on a hot day shredding away the chill of the spring and winter and the rain that covered the ground spreading joy and life throughout the land. She knew that eye because she stared into that eye every single day of her life. She felt it then the slip into madness and darkness that pulled her under in the sea of black. She looked at that smile again that was forced upon the beast just as she forced herself to smile every day since her parents death. The eye that was nothing but blackness were the eyes she stared out of every day not seeing the beauty that was lying around her. The flowers that her sister would always tend. The smile of the boy that she had yet to tell how she truly felt about him. The sky that she would never see again. Her eyes drifted to the chest that was hollow and held nothing inside, it was her chest where she no longer let her heart love she had casted everything out and would not let anything into her heart again nothing would make her feel that pain of losing a loved on again. The claws that dripped with blood were her own claws that she used to shred anything or anyone who tried to get near her.

This beast, this monster before her, the thing that was going to end her life was herself. She could not think or breathe, the screaming in her head had gone silent everything around her faded away into blackness as she once again was floating in that sea of nothingness.

 

I will finish this story in a second part until then stay tuned and check out some of the other post!