The True soul of a monster: part 2

The sea was cold and black just like everything else in her life, dull and cold, she refused to let anything into her life even her sister, she cared for her dearly yes but she could not love her something broke inside her the day her parents died. They had all been so happy and carefree for most of their lives, mother who would do nothing all day besides knit and read books before the fireplace, father who would manage his business from his office at home. Sweet sister and her playing on the rug in the living room while Copper, the stray dog who found its way into the house and their family, lay curled up next to them. Everything was perfect until that winter night, the snow storm was the worst they have ever had, they lived so far away from town that mother and father day to travel by horse to get them supplies to last until the snow would melt. She remembered being curled up in front of the fireplace with her sister shivering with copper in the middle of them sharing his warm golden fur with them. Mother and father had left early that morning but they still had not come back even after hours of waiting, then night fell and the sun rose the next morning, one of the horses that had carried her parents came back that morning and was frightened they could barely get the poor dear back into the barn.

The horse was covered in scars and claw marks that both of the girls knew all too well, it was the marks of the snow wolves that hunted in this part of the lands, the girls had lost their older brother to the wolves two years ago she remembers the grim look on father’s face as he walked back to the house with brothers gun and the scream that came from mother followed by sobs is something that haunted her dreams even now. Their neighbor had come to see then a day or two later, he had mother’s purse slung across the back of his horse’s saddle. That was when she felt it the drift in her soul, the breaking in her chest, she could not cry or scream, or move she just shut down. Her sister sobbed into her hands as Clint handed over the bag to her with a look on his face that told us exactly what we both had already knew.

Clint helped both of them taking on the role of their lost uncle, while sister became a copy of mother always telling her what to do and how and when, with no room for argument. Which did not bother her as much as she thought it would, no her and sister were always close and sister would always tell her what to do any ways.

She was snapped back into her body as the laughing filled her head once more. Oh my sweet darling, do you not like what you see. No one ever does my dear, this is you underneath that pretty face and human flesh you are as much a monster as me. You can not escape me, you cannot run from me.

She realized that the voice in her head was right, she could not run or fight. She was this monster, this horrible disgusting thing that stood before her, was her.  The empty chest, the bloody claws, the hollow eyes, everything, it was all her and the way she chose to live her life. She thought she was going to be sick, how could she be this thing, how could she fall so deep into despair.

Sister, I know that you are scared to let someone near you, but it is okay, because no matter how scared you are to love someone, I will just have to love you twice as hard. You can push me away and fight me tooth and claw, but I will always be here right beside you, I will hold on to you no matter what, you may not be my child by birth but after raising you for so long, you are mine dear sister and I will not let you push me away. 

That was voice the one that she knew far too well filled her head, the voice that was sweet as honeysuckle and soft as a cloud, it was a voice of pure love. Her sister’s voice filled her head and the image of her being pinned down by her sister after they had been fighting about why she refused to love anyone even charming Rayden, who day after day still stood by her side even if he knew how broken she was. Her sister screamed at her to understand that she was loved even if she refused to love anyone else.

She felt it, the hot tears that spilled from her eyes and dripped into the blackness before her. She was this heartless monster but yet they still love her. They both still fought for her, trying to bring her into the light and out of this darkness that surrounded her. Maybe this is how everyone truly saw her and she was just now seeing it herself, but if they could love her even in this disgusting, broken form, then just maybe.

“I am not afraid of you. I know that you are me, just as I am you. I might be terrified of you but I know that you are just as terrified of me. For I am the thing of your nightmares, you refuse to love because you are scared of losing love, therefore you have no heart but I do. You hollow out your eyes so you can only see the black in life, but I see everything, all the colors that make you wither away to your hole of black. Your claws drip with blood from all the fighting you do to keep others away, but I let them in, I crave their touch even if I do not want it, I need to feel their love even if I hate it. That dagger on your tail is your way of dealing with your problems by slicing through them so they can no longer exist. I hold these daggers to defend myself so that no one else may hurt me, I do not slice through my problems I run from them I run from everything that crosses me. I am your nightmare just as you are mine.”

You sweet darling doe are the first to ever except my form. You are the first to stare at your true self and not crumble from the fear and disgust that is truly you. So now I just have one question for you. What will you do now? Will you continue to run from your fears? Will you keep pushing others away? Will you ever learn to love? Will you truly become me? Or, will you fight? Will you try to change your ways and become something more than this, something more than me?

She opened her eyes to see the beast that stood before her once again and stared at that one blue eye, and seen the tears sliding down its face, this beast that she had created did not ask to be made this way. It did not ask to be turned into this demon, it was her fault that she was destroying herself. She walked toward the beast slowly with every shaking step echoing off the walls of the cave. She touched the leather skin that made her stomach flip and roll inside her, she wiped away the tears that slid from the eye so much like her mother’s. 

“I will change for the both of us. I will fix this brokenness that resides in both of us if you just let me have that stone. I. . . I just want to save my sister. . . please she is the only thing I have left in this world.” The beast before her stood tall and straighten so it now towered over her.

My darling you are already changing. You came here to face me. You did not run from your fears. You put the love you feel for your sister before yourself. You tried not to love but yet you have my dear. I will let you take the stone if you keep your promise to change, but not for me but for yourself.

“I promise. . . I promise to try.” The beast raised a claw to wipe away the tears that slid down her face, she tried not to flinch as the touch of the cold metal claw. Then the beast spoke softly into her mind once more as it handed her the stone of life that would save her sister’s life.

You are bound by the bond of promise to change for better, for not only me but for yourself. I look forward to seeing you change and maybe you could stop by again, if the fear does not consume you. If you break your bond to me I will find you and your sister I will take back the life that I so freely gave to you my darling. 

“Yes, I will keep my bond” She took one last look into the eye of her mother and turned to what she assumed was the door of the cave then the two spirit’s that danced before her, leading the way back to home.

I wish you the best on your journey to a life that will make you happy and fill your soul with hope my darling.

She turned to take one last look into the cave but there was nothing there and she could now see the cave in the light as she turned and found the cave entrance to be shimmering in the bright light of the moon. the cave being no deeper than a closest in her home. She would have thought it all a dream if it were not for the purple rock that laid in her hand but there was something else as she looked at her wrist she seen a small black heart, like a tattoo was just place upon her. She rubbed the mark and yet it still remained. Then like a whisper being carried on the wind she felt the slightest tingle in her right ear as the words filled her mind once more

This is our deal and the heart reminds you not to forget. My darling I will be seeing you again. Always watching you. You must remember the deal we have made fore I would hate to take the one thing you love from you, but hear me when I say that I will without hesitation. She sucked the night air into her lungs and ran for their house.

Once she made it to the golden warm glow of the cabin lights she could see copper waiting in the window patiently as if he had never moved from the spot since she left. Just like a mother hen she thought as she slung the door open and fell to her knees on the floor before her sister that was shaking so uncontrollably, she was freezing from the inside but the she was drenched in sweat burning up on the outside.

She pressed the stone to her sister’s heart and spoke softly like her sister always had to her.

“Emily, I am so sorry. I have always pushed you away and pushed away anyone you tired to love. I . . .  I just need you to come back. I love you Emily. . .  I really do love you. So please come back to me. I need you to be here with me.”

She tried to hold back the tears that now flowed down her face and choked back the sobs as she kept waiting for something to happen, anything to happen. She laid her head down on her sisters folded hand and cried into the covers that laid upon Emily. She was giving up, she knew this could not work, this was a stupid idea all along. It was then that the bright purple light filled the cabin as the warm blast waved through her, Copper was there at her side barking demanding whatever threat was there to leave them alone, but as soon as it happened it was gone. The light was sucked away into her sister as she watched the purple glow settle beneath the golden skin of her sister that was just white and pale as a ghost.

She breathing flattened out, the shaking slowly stopped and the sweat that soaked every inch of her skin was gone. She stared down at her sister and Copper was sniffing around Emily as if trying to find that purple light again. Emily’s eyes fluttered open those green eyes flecked with golden spots as they searched the room around her until they landed on her face.

“Elya? What happened? Why are we. . .?

“Emily! I love you. I love you so much Emily. I do. Please do not ever leave me again please!”

She cried into her sister’s arms as the warm soft touch of Emily’s love warped itself around her and held her tightly and kissed the top of her head.

“I always knew you did my little Elya all you had to do was try”

 

 

Well I finished it finally. Sorry I have been away for so long it has been a long couple of months with moving houses and family happening. Just crazy but I am back now and I will try to keep posting one story a day. So keep a lookout for tomorrow’s story!

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s